Life Insur-ENCE, lack of intellig-ENCE, and incompet-ENCE

There have been so many things on my mind lately..which is weird. I usually like to stay in my TV coma and think as little as possible. I was actually really annoyed with these things last night because I laid in bed for almost two hours before I fell asleep. And for any mom with a baby that still wakes up 2-3 times a night....it sucks! It sucks because I know that once I finally fall asleep, he is going to wake me up wanting to eat. I guess I can't complain too much right now though because I have no job and I can nap with him during the day. Anyway, here are the types of things that keep me awake at night:

1. LIFE INSURANCE: I realize I spelled it wrong in the title but for some reason, I decided it would be fun to make every title of my blog posts include "ENCE". It has proved to be kind of tricky...but a little fun too. I guess I have been thinking a lot about life insurance lately because for one, my brother-in-law passed away almost exactly 3 years ago. Luckily for my sister, he had a really good life insurance policy, which helped pay for the funeral, helped make up for the loss of an income for awhile, and allowed her to get into her own place and start new. If you didn't know, the average funeral costs about $7000. Another reason I have been thinking about this a lot is that we recently got ourselves some life insurance. They aren't huge policies but they are better than nothing. I am amazed at how many people don't have life insurance, especially if they have children. If we didn't have insurance and Nathan passed away (which I hate to think about), I would be left with funeral costs and having to support Wes and I, which would include having to pay for childcare. If I died, Nathan would have to pay for funeral costs and childcare, which can really add up each month.I think a lot of people are just unaware of the importance.  Even for people without children, all of their debt and funeral costs would be put upon their family members. Nate has taught me a lot about life insurance. If you would like some he can hook you up.

Wow...that was boring and depressing. But very important! So I hope you took the time to read it.

2. LACK OF INTELLIGENCE: I figured that once I graduated from nursing school I would know a lot about the human body. I'm starting to realize how much I really don't know. I may just be forgetting everything too since it has been almost a year since I graduated and I still don't have a job. For one, I feel like I need to call the doctor about everything that happens to Wes (but I don't because I made that mistake in the beginning and felt really stupid). Secondly, one night recently, I noticed a strange horizontal indent in the muscle across my right front upper thigh. I have had people feel it and it is pretty obvious. You can see it and you can feel it. I laid in bed wondering what kind of muscle wasting disease I could have and planned on calling the doctor in the morning. And of course, I Googled it. I found a lot of posts saying that it is from leaning against vanities and things like that with a ledge. One guy said his girlfriend had it and he called it the vanity indent, or something like that. But, I couldn't think of anything that I leaned against that would do that. Well the next morning while I was changing the babe's diaper, I realized I was leaning up against the dresser that his changing pad is on. Mystery solved. I am not dying! I also read that if I stop doing it, it will eventually go away. It better because I will never be able to wear a swimming suit again if it doesn't. Sorry...no pictures.

3: INCOMPETENCE: The job search is the one that really keeps me up at night. The fact that no one will hire me because I have no RN experience makes me feel unwanted, useless, and incompetent. What was all of that schooling and money for? I guess it was so I could tell people I have a bachelors degree. I am almost resorting to working as a CNA at nights while Nate works during the day. It would really suck though because I would work all night, then stay awake with the lil' guy the next day, all to make about $11 an hour, which is half what I could make as an RN. Working nights and making an RN salary would be much more worth all of the fatigue.

Just a few of my crazy thoughts